Friday, March 16, 2007

An attempted murder and an accident

"I don’t know how you do it," said my brother Marcus, looking up at me from the laptop after reading my story on William Rogers. "I feel like I know him."

"So did I," I said.

Sometimes I fluctuate between wanting to be a journalist because I’m good at it and I can make a difference, and getting back into public relations because, while it’s stressful, it’s less emotionally draining.

The drawback with PR is that I’ll have to compromise the amount of writing I do professionally. Like advertising, how do I go back to writing five-word taglines from 18-inch features?

During a recent conversation outside Kawasaki’s Bike Week booth, I told Bruce Barta, senior vice president at O’Leary and Partners, that it seems more fulfilling to influence 150,000 readers for good with a heartfelt story than to sell a product, service or an idea to two million people with a brilliant creative theme and well-placed advertising.

Ideological? Maybe.

At 7:26 on a Friday evening, waiting on a phone call from the EVAC Ambulance spokesman to confirm the details of a traffic fatality this afternoon. That will be a brief.
I just got off the phone with the guardian of a 17-year-old boy who was shot four times in January. His assailant was arrested last night and neither she nor her son knew; she was so relieved she wanted to jump through the phone and kiss me. That will be a story; even if he doesn’t call me back, I have her quotes.
Other than empathizing with her relief, I was unaffected by either of these stories. I worry that five years from now I will have become more hardened than I am now. I’ve become more hardened than I was a year ago.

I worry that if I stay in this business, I will eventually compromise the caring person I am when it comes to other people’s pain. I will always be affected on some level, but it might happen less.

I don’t want to be less human because of my job. Right now I manage to be more in spite of – or because of? – it.

No comments: