To live away

"I just can't live in China. Not because I don't love the country. I just can't write in China. I can't explain it. It's like, you can't live with your mother. No matter how much you love your mother, you have to live away."
-- Author Yiyun Li in a Newsweek interview


And I thought about Trinidad, thought about if it makes me lose my voice once there. But no. No, it doesn't. It gave me the voice I now have. Chaos, passion, pain, confusion. It makes me want to write.

And I thought about St. Lucia, about that moment on the edge of the bay, steady yachts nipping the waves, that moment of doubt when I thought I'd lost my words to pain. That moment of peace when I found them again.

But when I return to Trinidad, it takes away my breath. Yes, it's my breath it takes away. For days and weeks, I cannot breathe. I leave in an exhale. And I write about nostalgic things.


"But one cannot hide from the glare of one's own writing."
-- Arundhati Roy


Photo from Yiyun Li's Web site