Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Self-expansion

I've been thinking a lot lately about the veracity of long-term relationships and marriage. I'm starting to believe I'll never know what to believe. Or do.

"Scientists speculate that your level of commitment may depend on how much a partner enhances your life and broadens your horizons — a concept that Arthur Aron, a psychologist and relationship researcher at Stony Brook University, calls "self-expansion."

"To measure this quality, couples are asked a series of questions: How much does your partner provide a source of exciting experiences? How much has knowing your partner made you a better person? How much do you see your partner as a way to expand your own capabilities?"


Read more on the so-called Science of a Happy Marriage.

Does your lover make your life better?


Art by Stuart Bradford

1 comment:

MrScribbler said...

Simple question (replacing an earlier screed that melted down on its way through the Interwebz): If a lover doesn't make your life better, show you new horizons and help you reach your own horizons, why the hell would you think them qualified to be a lover?

Likewise, if you don't do the same for them, you're not going to be a worthwhile lover....

Disclaimer: This is a general comment, not aimed at any individual. Except, maybe, an ex-lover or five in my own life....