What made me cry

From the minute I got into work this afternoon, I’ve been responding to e-mails and fielding calls from a helpful public. Today my story on the family dealing with a dying mother and debilitated father ran as a 1C centerpiece.

It’s the only thing I’ve ever covered and written that made me cry in front of the people I was interviewing. I’ve pasted it below.


Cancer victim, family struggle to carry on
BY KARI COBHAM
STAFF WRITER

DELTONA -- Three years ago, doctors gave Deborah Berry no more than 18 months to live.

Today she's living on borrowed time, every minute of which her family is grateful.

"I have to tell myself she's still here, she's still alive," said 19-year-old daughter Trisha, "and I should be enjoying the time I have with her."

But the time has not been easy for the Berry family: husband, Ken, 49, son Brendan, 18, Devin, the baby at 13, and Trisha.

In August 2002, Deborah -- then a 41-year-old public assistance administrator and the main breadwinner -- saw the first inkling of cancer. By the end of 2003, both breasts had been removed, but the disease had spread to her spine and later into her bones.

The bubbly mother of three could no longer take care of herself, leaning heavily on her husband, who is legally blind and unable to work.

"It's just so complicated and she keeps on fighting," said Dr. Neeraj Sharma, Deborah's oncologist since December 2002. "She has been a very brave woman and she has been beating the odds."

The cancer specialist from Mid-Florida Hematology and Oncology in Deltona has tried to give the family hope "instead of counting the months and days."

"There were times we thought Deborah wouldn't make it and she did," he said.

In a kitchen still moldy from damage caused during the 2004 and 2005 hurricane seasons, $367,000 in hospital bills are stacked in a basket near the table. One by one, family members make frequent visits throughout the day down the hall to a bedridden Deborah.

"She needs care 24/7," said Ken Berry. With the treatments, her weight ballooned from 188 to 313pounds.

And he's not the picture of perfect health either.

Since 1998, he's had two heart attacks and, at the beginning of last year, triple bypass surgery. The couple were even in the hospital simultaneously at one point, with Ken pulling his food tray down the hall to have dinner with Deborah, he said.

He still moves with quiet authority, but the thought of losing his wife of 20 years brings tears.

"I have to keep going for my kids," he said. "If my shoulders weren't big enough, the Lord wouldn't give me that much."

That much sometimes seems incredible, like watching youngest son Devin coping with his mother's illness.

"Sometimes I can't handle it," Devin said, lapsing into tears. "Like in the middle of class, I wear my sweater so no one can see me cry."

Last August, the Heritage Middle School eighth-grader came home from school to find an urgent note on the front door from the Volusia County Sheriff's Office urging the family to call his mother's doctor immediately. Test results had shown a possibly fatal blood clot near her lung.

"It's unexplainable," said Devin, with maturity born from painful experience. "I care for people more than I used to; you don't know which day could be the last."

Devin spends as much time with her as he can, staying up late giggling at her bedside "since I can't go out shopping or anything" with her.

Behind the house, an above-ground pool installed to help with Deborah's bone therapy sits unused, its water turning green. She can't make it into the water without a much-needed deck and assisting stairs.

Her mobile chair is parked in a corner of the living room, its short-circuited controls rendering it useless. She hobbles briefly instead on numb legs using a walker.

The series of misfortunes seem overwhelming: The house has been broken into twice, the car repossessed, Trisha's car stolen out of the driveway, the bike Devin scraped to buy stolen and returned wrecked.

"If it weren't for bad luck, we wouldn't have any luck at all," said the eldest sibling, Trisha. "Day by day, week by week, we sit down and face the bills," mortgage and electricity first to keep a roof over their heads and Deborah's medical equipment going, she said.

As a student at Daytona Beach Community College, Trisha works part time to help support her family and have time to care for her mother, having recently moved back in after a year's hiatus.

"Right now what I need to do is be here for my family," she said.

Recent Pine Ridge High School graduate Brendan also works and hopes to attend DBCC in the fall and eventually become a police officer.

With two types of breast cancer and a host of other health issues, Deborah no longer questions if she will leave her family behind. It's a matter of when.

"I try to have the best time I can with them right now," she said, "and hope they will remember me like that."

Although she's sad she won't see her babies grow old, her biggest concern is making sure their house is in decent shape. They even tried catching the eye of ABC producers for home overhaul show "Extreme Makeover Home Edition," but to no avail.

After knocking on numerous doors for help, she hopes someone will answer her family's need for assistance, even after she's gone.

"She's the strongest woman I've ever seen fighting this," said Ken, reaching across the bed to hold his wife with one hand and wipe tears with the other. "She's been my life, always."

kari.cobham@news-jrnl.com

If you'd like to help the Berry family, donations can be made to any Harbor Federal Bank in the name of Ken or Deborah Berry.